Friday, October 21, 2011


A few weeks ago I heard a story at Jummah that really got me thinking. There was this Christian professor of Theology that asked his class one day how many people believed that the Bible was the Book of God. Everyone except a few renegades raised their hands. Then he proceeded to ask his class how many students read Twilight, Lord of the Rings, and other popular books of that sort. Everyone raised their hands. Then he finally asked his students how many of them had read the Bible cover to cover. One student raised his hand, and he was an Atheist. 

The brother leading the Khutbah then asked us if we thought we were any better... are we any better? I mean how many of us can honestly say that we read the Qur'an cover to cover and understood the Divine words of Allah SWT? Or even attempted to understand? And let's not make excuses for ourselves. I get it, we may have some obstacles 'preventing' us from reaching that understanding (some more than others) but we can't make excuses. On Judgment Day what will we tell Him? Would we even dare to make an excuse then? The Qur'an is more than a system of beliefs, it is a way of life. 

Granted, a lot of Muslims cannot read Arabic, and many may read Arabic but cannot understand it, but at the end of the day these are just obstacles, not impossibilities. We have resources, an abundance of resources in fact. There are books on translations and tafsirs, classes available for tafsir (online and offline), so there are options available. We need to make use of these tools before our time is up. This reminder is first and foremost for myself, because I am more than lacking in this area, but I have to change while I still have the chance insha'Allah.

Don't allow yourself to make any more excuses. Don't give yourself that option. All you have to do is make a choice to change for Him. It's that simple.

May He guide your way and show you the light <3 

Jummah Mubarak!


A Muslimah

Saturday, September 3, 2011

We are judged by our intentions


Many of us are missing out on opportunities every day. It's as if someone was willing to pay us $20/hour for simply living our lives, and we're say "no, thanks". God judges us based on our intentions, right? So even something so simple as keeping in touch with a friend or hanging out with your parents can be rewarded by Him, if our intentions are on point. i.e. if you're going out for coffee with your mom because it  would please Allah swt, then inshallah you will be rewarded for it. If you're trying to eat healthy because you want to protect the gift of health that He has given you, inshallah you will be rewarded for it. The key here is remembrance, reminding yourself that what you're doing is to please Him and not yourself. Alhamdulilah when we try to please the Most High, we often lead much happier lives, lives with purpose.

At first it's difficult to remember to constantly renew your intentions, but subhanallah when you do remember why (and for Whom) you're doing the things you do, it gives you motivation to fulfill these tasks. For instance, I'm sometimes too lazy to get up and pray. I keep postponing it because I know I still have x hours before the next salah; but when I remember that it would please Him to pray now rather than later, I usually get up and do it. It's something we're always aware of in the back of our minds, right? I mean we obviously pray to fulfill our obligations to Allah swt, but the problem is keeping it at the back of our minds when it should be right up front and centre.

If we try to be more conscious of our purpose here on Earth, these small and constant reminders will not only bring us rewards from Allah swt, but will also serve us with more reason for doing the things that we do. There are so many things that have become habits for us, and we do them because they are the 'right' things to do, but if we try and rewire our thinking and remember that they're the right things to do because it would please Allah swt, then inshallah these small changes will bring huge results.


A Muslimah

Friday, August 26, 2011

A Sacred Conversation

Retrieved from:
By Yasmin Mogahed

There is a time of night when the whole world transforms. During the day, chaos often takes over our lives. The responsibilities of work, school, and family dominate much of our attention. Other than the time we take for the five daily prayers, it is hard to also take time out to reflect or even relax. Many of us live our lives at such a fast pace, we may not even realize what we’re missing.

But there is a time of night when work ends, traffic sleeps, and silence is the only sound. At that time—while the world around us sleeps—there is One who remains awake and waits for us to call on Him. We are told in the hadith qudsi: “Our Lord descends during the last third of each night to the lower heaven, and says: ‘Is there anyone who calls on Me that I may respond to him? Is there anyone who asks Me that I may give unto him? Is there anyone who requests My Forgiveness that I may forgive him?’” (Bukhari and Muslim)

One can only imagine what would happen if a king were to come to our door, offering to give us anything we want. One would think that any sane person would at least set their alarm for such a meeting. If we were told that at exactly one hour before dawn a check for $10,000,000 would be left at our doorstep, would we not wake up to take it?

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) has told us that at this time of night, just before dawn, He will come to His servants. Imagine this. The Lord of the universe has offered us a sacred conversation with Him. That Lord waits for us to come speak with Him, and yet many of us leave Him waiting while we sleep in our beds. Allah (swt) comes to us and asks what we want from Him. The Creator of all things has told us that He will give us whatever we ask.

And yet we sleep.

There will come a day when this veil of deception will be lifted. The Qur’an says: “[It will be said], You were certainly in unmindfulness of this, and We have removed from you your cover, so your sight, this Day, is sharp.” (Qur’an 50:22).

On that Day, we will see the true reality. On that Day, we will realize that two rak`at (units) of prayer were greater than everything in the heavens and the earth. We will realize the priceless check that was left on our doorstep every night as we slept. There will come a day when we would give up everything under the sky just to come back and pray those tworak`at.

There will come a day when we would give up everything we ever loved in this life, everything that preoccupied our hearts and minds, every mirage we ran after, just to have that conversation with Allah. But on that Day, there will be some from whom Allah (swt) will turn away… and forget, as they had once forgotten Him.

The Qur’an says: “He will say, ‘My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?’ [Allah] will say, ‘Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten.’” (Qur’an, 20:125-126) In Surat al-Mu’minoon, Allah says: “Do not cry out today. Indeed, by Us you will not be helped.” (Qur’an, 23:65)

Can you imagine for a moment what these ayat (verses) are saying? This is not about being forgotten by an old friend or classmate. This is about being forgotten by the Lord of the worlds. Not hellfire. Not boiling water. Not scalded skin. There is no punishment greater than this.

And as there is no punishment greater than this, there is no reward greater than what the Prophet ﷺ describes in the following hadith:

“When those deserving of Paradise would enter Paradise, the Blessed and the Exalted would ask: Do you wish Me to give you anything more? They would say: Hast Thou not brightened our faces? Hast Thou not made us enter Paradise and saved us from Fire? He would lift the veil, and of things given to them nothing would be dearer to them than the sight of their Lord, the Mighty and the Glorious.” [Sahih Muslim]

But one does not need to wait until that Day to know the result of this nighttime meeting with Allah (swt). The truth is, there are no words to describe the overwhelming peace in this life from such a conversation. One can only experience it to know. Its effect on one’s life is immeasurable. When you experience qiyam, the late night prayer the rest of your life transforms. Suddenly, the burdens that once crushed you become light. The problems that were irresolvable become solved. And that closeness to your Creator, which was once unreachable, becomes your only lifeline.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How Does One Soften Their Heart?

By Maryam Amir-Ebrahimi, retieved from:

As the last ten nights of Ramadan are upon us, many of us are still in shock at the speed with which Ramadan has passed. Our goals may not yet be realized, our habits may not yet have changed, and our hearts may not yet have felt the sweetness of this beloved month. Disheartened, many of us may have already given to despair, feeling that our Ramadans have not been as fruitful as we had wished and planned. To make things more uncomfortable, we sometimes pray in mosque where the Imam or those around us begin to cry, weeping loudly when they hear verses of the Qur’an or when the Imam makes the du`a’(supplication) during witr. Everyone else seems to be touched by this blessed month; everyone else’s hearts seem to soak in sweetness of this faith, the tears soaking their cheeks as they beg for mercy, provision, and forgiveness.

What about me? What about you? How can we, too, be of those whose hearts are softened?

Make Du`a’

I once heard a khatib (lecturer) say, “If you have approached the end of Ramadan, and you do not yet feel it in your heart, keep knocking on the door of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). Keep knocking, keep knocking, and Allah will answer.”

Ask Allah (swt) in all of the blessed times to make du`a’ to break the hardness of your heart and allow sincerity and gratitude to gush through. Ask Him to soften your heart, to fill it with an awe-inspiring realization of Him, to exchange your bad deeds for good deeds and let your heart tremble in awe of Him as your actions show love for Him.

Sit Alone, Think about Your Sins, and Ask for Forgiveness

Take a few minutes every day to sit and say, “AstaghfirAllah (I seek forgiveness from Allah).” Every time you make this request of Allah (swt), remember something you’ve done that may have displeased Him. Remember that time you yelled at your mom when all she was trying to do was help you? Remember that time you cheated on your exam? Sit and ask Allah (swt) forgiveness for every single thing you’ve done, great, small, intentionally, unintentionally, asking Him to replace the hardness of your heart with softness and replace your sins with forgiveness and good deeds.

Allah (swt) tells us in Surat al-Furqan:

“Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful” (Qur’an, 25:70).

Ibn Kathir, in the tafsir (exegesis) of this ayah (verse), cites a hadith (tradition) in which Abu Dharr (radiAllahu `anhu – May Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ (peace be upon him) said, “I know the last person who will be brought forth from Hell, and the last person who will enter Paradise. A man will be brought and it will be said, ‘Take away his major sins and ask him about his minor sins.’ So it will be said to him: ‘On such and such a day, you did such and such, and on such and such a day, you did such and such.’ He will say, ‘Yes,’ and he will not be able to deny anything. Then it will be said to him: ‘For every evil deed you now have one good merit.’ He will say: ‘O Lord, I did things that I do not see here.’” He (Abu Dharr) said: “And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ smiled so broadly that his molars could be seen.” (Muslim)

Ibn Kathir further explains, “…those evil deeds that have passed are turned into good deeds by way of the true and sincere repentance itself. This is because every time that person remembers what he had done, he regrets it, feels remorse, and seeks Allah (swt)’s forgiveness. In this way, the sin becomes an act of obedience.”

Allah (swt) is always ready for us to turn back to Him and can easily turn our bad deeds into good deeds on our scales! But how many of us are begging Him for this? To soften our hearts, be forgiven, and increase in our good deeds, let us sit and make istighfar, begging for Allah (swt)’s forgiveness and for Him to turn our bad into good.

Sit Alone, Ponder Your Blessings, and Thank Allah (swt)
Watch this and contemplate:

How many of us have been blessed with parents or others who love, mentor and care for us? We have been given trillions of blessings that so many have never tasted. How many people are ungrateful and forgetful of all they have been blessed with?

Sit and think of every blessing He has given you- the Qur’an, eyesight, clean water, literacy- the blessings are uncountable, as Allah (swt) tells us in Surah Ibrahim (14:34). Let us show gratitude, for when we are grateful, Allah (swt) increases us, “And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.’ (Qur’an, 14:7).

Let us sit, contemplate blessing after blessing, and continually move our lips in gratitude to Allah (swt), saying, “AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God),” asking Him to write us amongst those who are grateful to Him, asking Him to soften our hearts and allow us to be moved by gratitude for His Favors.

Contemplate the Qur’an

Allah (swt) poses this powerful question:

“Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’an, or are there locks upon [their] hearts? (Qur’an, 47:24)

How can we be of those whose hearts are not locked? We can make massive du`a’ that Allah (swt) opens our hearts, and we can contemplate the Qur’an. Listen to the Qur’an with a recitation which penetrates your ears and overwhelms your heart. While listening, go through the translation and work to understand the Qur’an.

When you go through the words, sit and really think about the meaning and the ways in which it applies to your life. Think about the meaning of the Qur’an and allow yourself to be captivated, head-over-heels in love with the powerful words of the Creator of the Universe- the One Who created you- the One Who revealed these words for your personal guidance. Allah chose you to be Muslim; He personally planned for you be of those who want to come back to Him and read the Qur’an. So go back to the Qur’an, be grateful for His favor upon you and sincerely seek to understand His Words.

Give Charity

The Prophet ﷺ has told us that, “Sadaqah extinguishes sins like water extinguishes fire” (Tirmithi). The sins we commit continually build up and rust our hearts. Without polishing, this rust will take over, covering the beautiful jewel beneath it. This jewel, when polished, gleams internally and externally, becoming a means of benefit for the person whose body it houses, and spreading light to all those around, bi’ithnillah (with the permission of Allah). With charity, we can help polish our hearts. Let us give in charity, asking Allah (swt) to soften our hearts, to remove the buildup of rust, and to purify our hearts and souls, bringing us back to Him `azza wa jal (the Almighty and Majestic).

Increase our Good Deeds

Allah (swt) tells us, “Indeed the mercy of Allah is near to those who do good” (Qur’an, 7: 56). God has also told us, “Indeed, good deeds remove the evil deeds. That is a reminder for those who remember” (Qur’an, 11:114).

Allah (swt) has made our religion so adaptable that we can worship Him through anything good we do, when done sincerely and correctly. Let us constantly renew our intentions; when we take out the trash, let it be an act of worship to keep our homes tidy and to please those whom we live with. When we smile at a passerby, let it be to spread the joy of the character of the Prophet ﷺ. All the while, let us seek the mercy of Allah (swt), begging of Him to soften our hearts, while we do good for His pleasure.

Live in Paradise, Sprint Away from Hell

When you read Qur’an or standing in prayer, and you come across words indicating Paradise, such as Jannah(Paradise); Imagine it. Imagine being in Paradise, standing by a river which flows beneath you, near waterfalls, near enormous palaces. Imagine yourself in awe, in immense joy, in euphoria- when suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder. In that moment when you turn around, imagine who it may be. Your mother? Your father? Your spouse? Your child? Your grandparent? Your best friend? The Beloved, the Chosen, the Teacher, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ? How would you feel in that moment? How would you feel, seeing the person who meant the most to you in your life, seeing the person who may have already passed years before and whom you yearn for constantly, how would you feel coming to the realization that you are going to be here, with the people you love, forever. You will never die and you will never fear all the things which brought so much worry and difficulty to you in the dunya (world). At that moment, you’ll understand what Allah says when He describes the believers in Paradise saying,

“And they will say, ‘Praise to Allah, who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative”

“He who has settled us in the home of duration out of His bounty. There touches us not in it any fatigue, and there touches us not in it weariness [of mind].’” (Qur`an, 35:34-35)

And then, when you hear a word describing Hellfire, such as Naar (Hellfire); Imagine it. Imagine the intensity of the Hellfire; imagine the pains of being burned to the point where you have no skin and it is recreated for you, only to continue the agony; where you want to die, but will never die, where you yearn to have just a cold drink of relief, but are given a drink which boils your insides and experiencing boiling water poured upon your head. Is this the end that you want? Is this what you want for those whom you love?

Would you prefer garments of fire (22:19) or garments of silk (22:23)? When you go into sujood (prostration), beg Allah for what you want for yourself and those whom you love. Beg Him from the depths of your heart and allow your tears to pour to Him.

Have an Objective

In every salah (prayer), have an objective. Whether obligatory or extra, make the objective to come out of that prayer purer than you did when you were born. Ask Allah for `afiya - for your sins to be forgiven and wiped away, so that it is as if you never even committed them. Focus like someone who aims to be forgiven, recite Surat al-Fatiha like someone who will be forgiven, make sujood like someone who yearns with their heart and soul for their sins to be wiped away and replaced with righteous deeds. In the next prayer, make your objective Paradise. Concentrate like someone of Paradise; beg of Allah in sujood to be of the people of Paradise. In every rak`ah (unit of prayer), have a unique purpose and beg of Allah to make those desires realities.

There is still time to come back to Allah (swt) and really feel the weight of this blessed month! Allah (swt) loves when we go back to Him with sincerity and humility, carrying the burden of our sins to Him, with hopes of having them obliterated and being completely forgiven.

Let us go back to Him, asking for His forgiveness and pleasure, for Him to open our hearts and soften our limbs to His command, asking Him to replace the burden of our shortcomings with the blessing of His Mercy. Once we’ve done so, let us go back to Him, feeling light, overflowing with hope and pumped with energy to seek His pleasure through working passionately for His sake, feeling immensely optimistic that He will forgive us, reward us and answer us inshaAllah (God Willing).

Keep knocking on the door. Allah (swt), the One Who Answers, will undoubtedly answer.

Saturday, August 13, 2011



I noticed I haven't blogged in a very long time, inshallah I will try to be more consistent in the future. These are just some thoughts I've been having lately about compliments...

I don't know if it's just me but I have always felt that in general girls are not the most sincere when it comes to compliments, and they don't do it often either. We compliment our close friends, but not others, and when we do I feel some jealousy/envy attached to it (which I guess is pretty natural). So I decided that from now on when I see someone with something that I like, or that I think they do well, I will go out of my way to make it known to that person inshallah. I mean everyone likes compliments, right? And I am hoping that it will help me work on my humility in the future insha'Allah. My thought process is that if I freely compliment others (and do it sincerely) that it will break down my own ego or sense of pride. I feel like this  isn't making any sense, but it makes perfect sense in my fail.

Anyways just want to get that out there.

I pray everyone has a wonderful Ramadan full of barakah, and please do not forget the horn of Africa in your duas. There is a lot of hardship going on around the world right now, and I think our Ummah needs to come together to make dua for positive change and to help others as much as we can. Remember Libya, Yemen, Syria, Bahrain, Palestine, and the rest of the world in need for justice and humanity.

Ramadan Kareem, so let's try to be extra generous as this is the month to give, share, and change our ways.


A Muslimah

Monday, June 20, 2011

Cairo, I hope to see you soon


My stay for the past 3 weeks in Egypt has come to an end, and it is very bittersweet. It is bitter because I have fallen in love with this country and its beautiful people, but it is sweet because my next stop is Jordan where a lot of my family reside. Alhamdulilah.

I didn't really know what to expect when I came here, on one hand I was extremely excited to see the new and improved Egypt post Mubarak, but on the other hand I had heard that I was coming to an overpopulated and extremely congested country. What I can confirm about Egypt is that I came to fall in love with a country full of hope and promise. I don't think I've ever met a people so welcoming and kind, mashallah!

From the surprisingly stunning historic architecture, to the most beautiful mosques and churches, to the awakening sounds of the adman, to the souks and cafes in Khan El Khalily which were overflowing with culture, to the mind-blowing and ever mysterious pyramids, to the hangouts in Tahrir Square which screamed a new beginning, to the outstanding nights on the nile, Cairo left me with nothing but fascination. I am sad to leave but eager to come back. And although I didn't wander much outside of this city (which inshallah I will next time), I got so much more than I could have ever imagined. May God bless you and bring you prosperity, and may your strength, perseverance, and progress for justice be followed by the rest of the Arab nations Ya Rabb.

I will miss you Cairo, but I shall soon return inshallah <3


A Muslimah

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Dear God

Dear God, Help us become better people. Make us more compassionate to the sufferings of others. Give us more humility. Make us modest in all of our affairs. Grant us patience, especially with those dearest to us (with whom it is often most difficult). Help us be the best sons and daughters, the most understanding husbands and wives, the most loving fathers and mothers, the most trustworthy of friends, the most honest of workers. Always Remind us of the impermanence of this life. Keep us focused on real goals, never materialistic ones. Save us from the thirst of money or power, Make us thirsty only for Your love and acceptance. Help us forgive and forget. Dear Allah, Help us become the best of people.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Of course we accept you...if you look like us.


Ok so here's the thing, I don't think anyone should ever have the right to tell me how I have to be, and yes, I'm particularly referring to people's choice in dress. And please, don't tell me about how 'some' countries have been doing that for years, because I think it's wrong. I've always thought it was wrong. But I don't understand how some countries' backwards thinking gives any other country any justification for essentially doing that same thing (all the while still condemning those very countries). I'm sorry if this is getting confusing to follow along but I'm trying to be subtle...actually I don't really care. I'm pretty sure everyone know what I'm talking about: France and several Middle Eastern countries. Here's the moral of the story: two wrongs don't make a right.

For anyone that knows me, I'm in love with a place called France. I've always dreamt of living there and inshallah one day I will. And to be honest I still love France just as much as I always have, because I refuse to judge a country and its people based on the few that run it.

Anyways, here's a little context as to why I'm writing about all of this. So I was getting ready to go on foreign exchange to Paris in the coming fall '10. Ryerson accepted me, and we were getting everything set up. I've already looked into some places I want to go to, picturing all the little cafes I would visit and enjoy, basically dreaming up my upcoming Parisian experience--one I've been mentally preparing for most of my life. Until I received an email.

Yesterday, on Wednesday April 20th, the university I was going to attend there said that they "do not think it would be wise for an exchange student to be the first and only one [wearing a hijab] in view of the current context." And just like that, my dream was shattered. I'll be honest, when I first received that email I was devastated, but alhamdulilah I'm okay now. Everything happens for a reason right? I think I'm going to take that advice myself this time. Although I don't actually think that this means that I have no future in Paris, because I know that that email is not at all representative of the population (especially not in a country that hosts the most Muslims in Europe). People are not black and white, far from it. I don't deny that some (maybe even a lot) of people don't feel comfortable with that way I 'look'....but I firmly believe that that is due to a lack of understanding or interaction with people 'like me'. And I say that with caution because we are all different, everyone is, but we all deserve a chance. Remember "the mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open".

I still wish I was leaving for France in a few months, to live and immerse myself in a culture that I so strongly yearn for. But hey, this is just a setback.

"The difficulties are intended to make you better, not bitter."


A Muslimah

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The best thing to wear is a smile.


Everyone has a story. Everyone has their ups and downs, obstacles in their way, days where it seems like everything is falling apart, when it feels like the whole world is conspiring against you. At times like these, you may feel like there’s absolutely nothing you can do to change the situation you are in—so you sulk. No one wants to be around negative Nancy, so, smile. You failed a test? Study more next time, and, smile. You didn’t get that job? You can’t do anything about it, so, smile. You lost your cell phone? Maybe you should be more careful….and smile.
“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” -Cynthia Nelms
I mean think about it, no one wants to be around someone who is always complaining, or simply mad at the world, because that brings your mood down, and likewise no one wants to be around you if you’re like that either. So, smile, and do it often. Be extra nice. Go out of your way to help someone else. Always say thank you. Brighten up someone’s day, it really doesn’t take much.

You woke up today, safe, in a warm bed, be thankful. And smile.


A Muslimah

Friday, March 18, 2011

You are your own worst critic

....or so they say.


I've always heard people say that you are your own worst critic. In fact, I've used that line myself on several occasions because it does hold an extent. Lately I've realized that I can be at once toughest on myself and the least harsh. Sounds like a contradiction? Maybe.

The way I see it is that I am always hardest on myself when it comes to things like appearance and school, and by extension I am less harsh on others when it comes to those things. I think it's common sense, I'm not going to get all bent out of shape if my friend got a B instead of an A because it obviously doesn't affect me as much (that sounded harsher than I intended, I'm just trying to verbalize my thoughts). But then, when it comes to other things like faith or weakness of character, my lower self is so quick to 'judge' others, while being extremely lenient with myself. This is where I get uncomfortable writing about this stuff, because it's definitely a part of me I'm not proud of--but I am working REALLY hard to get rid of......

..... Here it comes, hypocrisy at its finest: I am sometimes unforgiving in my judgment of others while I am overly accepting of my own faults, often convincing myself of being 'good enough' so that I can fool myself into not having to do better, not having to be better. This is a weakness in my own character, and I don't think it's an easy one to fight.

Doesn't only sound like a contradiction anymore, it looks like one too.

A Muslimah

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

"Have hope only in Allah. Be afraid of nothing but sins. If u do not know a thing never feel ashamed to admit ignorance. If u do not know a thing never hesitate or feel ashamed to learn it. Acquire patience & endurance bc their relation w true faith is that of a head to a body, a body is of no use w/o a head, similarly true faith can be of no use w/o attributes of resignation, endurance & patience." -Ali (RA)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Do it anyway.

People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered; 
        Forgive them anyway. 
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; 
        Be kind anyway. 
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; 
        Succeed anyway. 
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; 
        Be honest and sincere anyway. 
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; 
        Create anyway. 
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; 
        Be happy anyway. 
The good you do today, will often be forgotten; 
        Do good anyway. 
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough; 
        Give your best anyway. 
In the final analysis, it is between you and God; 
        It was never between you and them anyway.
- Mother Teresa


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

High and Low


I've been wanting to write something for a while now...but I've been having some serious trouble finding something to write about. I still don't have anything in'm just going to force myself to spew out something.

I don't feel the most comfortable writing about this, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. I'm at a 'low' point right now. Alhamdulilah I'm enjoying life, and Allah continues to bless me with so much alhamdulilah! But unfortunately I don't feel very close to Him at the moment. I don't know what it is. I just don't feel that same sense of urgency as I did a couple of months ago. And I lay here dumbfounded. I want to do so much for Him, I want to devote so much more time, but I don't. I still fulfill my obligatory duties, but not much more. Astaghfurullah. I feel like I am not progressing. This really confuses me. I can sense my attachment to this dunya and it scares me to death. For instance, I could be laying in bed wasting hours online doing absolutely trivial things, when I could be spending this time productively. Why am I feeling like this? I have no motivation. I think a lot of this has to do with two things: school, and habits. I hate feeling like this.

I'm in my fourth year of Finance, and I guess at this point it's only natural to be sick of it all. I have no desire in opening my books anymore. I don't want to read anything to do with numbers. I'd rather sleep (and lately this is exactly what I've been doing instead). I guess my lack of enjoyment at school blows over into the rest of my life, and all I want to do is have some 'fun'. So I spend hours watching online TV, going on Facebook, twitter, etc. and of course there's always something to do on the web. Then I realize I've accomplished zilch and I haven't even realized how much time has gone by. I get frustrated. I realize how much work I have to do so I tell myself "10 more minutes and then I'll dive into my readings". One hour later, I realize I took a little longer than 10 minutes. And the cycle continues. I realize I could have skipped this whole paragraph and simply said I'm a master procrastinator, but sometimes I need to get it all out to realize the extent of my procrastination. And it's definitely not pretty.

Another major player in my 'low point' is my change of routine this semester. That sentence probably made no sense. Anyways, I don't have the same weekly routine as I did last semester. One of the biggest changes is that I have class during Jummah. At first I didn't think it would make a big difference, I mean I could always listen to khutbas online to get some weekly soul food. But it's not the same. Actually it's extremely different. Subhanallah, there's something about being in that environment every Friday, surrounded by your brothers and sisters, all there for the same reason, immersing themselves in the moment to please Allah SWT and to reflect on the weekly message, to better themselves, to better our community - there's nothing like it. Without this weekly pick-me-up, I realize I need to find a more suitable substitute.

I realize that I'm doing a bad job 'prioritizing' right now...but wallah I'm trying. And I thank God for today, for every day, for giving me the opportunity to fix my mistakes. Alhamdulilah He is giving me this chance, I can't waste it. He SWT loves consistency, and I love what He loves, so I need to stop talking and starting walking.

We must not forget that life can end at any moment, so make every moment worth it. I know we have almost become immune to quotes on life and death, but we need to re-awaken ourselves and focus on the impermanence of this world.

"Live every day like it's your last, because one day' you'll be right."


A Muslimah

Saturday, February 5, 2011

If what you desire from this world is what should suffice you, a little should suffice you; but if you desire more than your sufficiency, the entire world will not suffice you. Control your egos by abandoning what the world contains, for you have entered it naked and naked you will leave it.
(Imam Ghazali)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I'm going to continue posting on here, but I also have a tumblr account now:


A Muslimah

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Food for throught

Do you think it's necessary to be on a similar intellectual level to ensure a successful relationship (marriage)? And I'm not referring to educational level but rather general intellect. What do you think?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Don't be 'too' Muslim


I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but I get seriously confused when Muslims tell me not to be 'too' Muslim, as if being 'too' Muslim is a bad thing. I'd like to stress that I never get these comments from any people of other faiths (which are most of my friends).

Let me clarify something, to me, the more Muslim you are, the more you are:
  • humble
  • respectful 
  • approachable
  • kind-hearted
  • understanding
  • happy
  • open-minded
  • non-judgemental
  • loving
  • modest
  • trustworthy
  • compassionate
  • equitable
  • just
And the list goes on and on. So, being 'too' Muslim is in fact an aspiration and everlasting goal of mine. Many people believe that becoming more religious necessitates seriousness, strictness, and inflexibility, but I don't think any of those things have to do with religion (forigive me if I am offending anyone). Our best example of a Muslim is our Prophet (SAW), and he encompassed only the best of attributes. He (SAW) is who I aspire to be more like.

In that respect, the next time someone tells me I'm becoming too Muslim, I'll take it as a compliment. Thank you.


A Muslimah

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Virtues of Winter By Imam Zaid Shakir

Taken from:
I just came across this beautiful reminder of the opportunities we have in the winter, alhamdulilah!

The Virtues of Winter
By Imam Zaid on 18 December 2009
This is our final translation from Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali’s, Lata’if al-Ma’arif, this year. It deals with some of the virtues and duties associated with the winter seas, which is rapidly descending upon us. This excerpt is taken from pages 557-560
Imam Ahmad relates from the narrations of Abu Sa’id al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him, from the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah upon him, that he said, “Winter is the springtime of the believer.” [1] This Hadith is recorded by Imam al-Bayhaqi and others. Imam Bayhaqi has another version that states, “Its nights are long so he spends them in worship, and its days are short so he fasts them.”
Rather, winter is the springtime of the believer because it is a time he grazes in the orchards of obedience, frolics in the fields of worship and frees his heart in the gardens of righteous deeds that are made easy at that time. Just as cattle graze in the lush springtime pastures. They fatten up during that time and their bodies recover [from the hardships of winter]. Similarly, the religion of the believer is reformed during the winter owing to the acts of obedience Allah has made easy for him. During the winter the believers is able to fast its days without any difficulty or any great burden –hunger, or thirst. This is because its days are short and cold. Therefore, he does not notice the difficulty of fasting. Imam Tirmidhi relates that the Prophet, blessings and peace upon him, said, “Fasting in the winter is the cold spoils.”
Abu Hurayra used to say, “Shall I not direct you to the cold spoils?” They said, “Certainly.” He said, “Fasting during the winter months.” The meaning of it being the “cold spoils” is that it is like the spoils of battle taken without conflict, fatigue, or difficulty. Hence, one who takes these spoils does so casually with no exertion whatsoever.
As for standing in prayer during its nights, their length allows for the soul to take a healthy portion of sleep and then arise and pray. The praying person can recite his entire regular portion of the Qur’an and still get a healthy dose of sleep. He is thus able to complete his religious duty and to give rest to his body.
Among the saying of Yahya bin Mu’adh is the following: “The night is long; do not make it short by sleeping through it. Islam is pure; do not defile it with your sins.” This [the length of the winter nights] is the opposite of the case of the summer. Owing to the shortness of its nights and its heat, sleep is required during it and it is difficult for the soul to get the sleep it needs without sleeping its entirety. Therefore, praying during it requires exertion. For this reason, one may not complete his customary portion of the Qur’an.
Ibn Mas’ud used to say, “Welcome to winter, blessings descend during it; its nights are long and therefore conducive to praying and its days are short conducive to fasting.” It is also related that he attributed this saying to the Prophet, peace and blessings upon him. However, this attribution is not accurate. It is related from hasan [al-Basri], “What an excellent time the winter is for the believer! Its nights are long so he stands in prayer during them, and its days are short so he fasts them.” It is related that ‘Ubayd bin ‘Umair used to say when winter came, “O people of the Qur’an! The nights are long for you to recite so recite! The days are short for your fast so fast!”
Staying for prayer during the nights of winter is equivalent to fasting the days of summer. For this reason, Mu’adh wept as his death approached and he said, “Rather I am crying because I will miss the thirst of fasting during the midday summer sun, and the standing in prayer during the winter nights and crowding around the scholars at the gathering of knowledge.” Ma’dad mentioned, “Were it not for three things I would not mind if I were an insect: The thirst while fasting in the midday summer sun; standing for prayer during the winter nights; and the sweetness of reciting the Book of Allah during night vigils.”
The night prayer during the winter does involve difficulty from two perspectives:
The first is from the perspective of the pain the soul experiences in getting out of the [warm] bed during times of intense cold. Dawud bin Rushayd mentioned, “One of my brothers got up for his portion of worship during an bitterly cold night. He was wearing ragged clothes which the cold penetrated causing him to cry. He heard a voice cry out: ‘We have roused you from sleep, while we have left others slumbering. Are you crying for what we have done?’ ” This is related by Abu Nu’aym [2]
The second is from the perspective of the pain that results from performing ablutions during the bitter cold. Performing ablutions under such conditions is one of the most virtuous acts of worship. It is related in Sahih Muslim, among the narrations of Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him, on the authority of the Prophet, peace and blessings upon him, that he said: “Shall I not direct you to something with which Allah will efface your sins and raise your ranks? They responded, “Certainly O Messenger of Allah!” He said, “Performing an expansive ablution during difficult times; taking many steps to reach the mosque; and remaining in the mosque for the next prayer –doing so a form of guard duty.” [3]
In a similar Hadith, Mu’adh ibn al-Jabal, may Allah be pleased with him, mentioned:
The Prophet, peace upon him, saw his Lord in his dream. He said to him: “O Muhammad! What are the members of the highest hosts discussing?” He answered: “The ranks and the expiations.” He said: “The expiations are extending ablution during difficult times; walking to the Friday [or congregational] prayers; and waiting for the next prayer. Whoever does that will live and die in a good state and will be free of sin like the day his mother gave birth to him. The ranks are providing food [to the hungry]; greeting people; and praying at night while people are asleep.” [4] 
Imams Ahmad and Tirmidhi related this Hadith. In one version of the Hadith [we read]’ “Extending ablutions during Sabarat.” Sabra means bitter cold. Extending ablutions during bitter cold is one of the highest characteristics of faith. Ibn Sa’d relates via his own chain of transmission that ‘Umar advised his son ‘Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with them both, as he lay on his death bed, “O My son! It is incumbent upon you that you adhere to the characteristics of faith.” He asked, “What are they?” ‘Umar relied, “Fasting during the intense heat of the summer months; fighting the transgressing enemies of the faith; being patient in the face of calamities; extending your ablution during the cold winter days; hastening to prayer during inclement weather; and never drinking alcohol.”

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Keep you heart pure.

The heart becomes corrupt in 6 ways:

1. Committing sins in the hope of repenting.

2. Seeking knowledge and not applying it.

3. Practicing without iklhas (sincerity)

4. Eating the sustenance of Allah SWT without appreciating Him.

5. Not being pleased with Allah SWT's decree.

6. Burying the dead without learning from them.

[Hasan Al-Basri]

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Starve the ego. Feed the soul.

The ego is a very powerful thing, and it's very difficult to get rid of. Although this has always been going on, as of late I think the lines have been excessively blurred between ego and confidence. Taking Beyonce's song 'Ego', the whole song is dedicated to justifying a big ego. She makes it seem like a 'good thing'. I know this is just one song but I think it reflects a larger trend going on in today's society. 
Anyways...I've been taking note of my own ego because I know how detrimental it can be. I wouldn't consider myself as having a big ego (far from it) but to a certain extent I think we all struggle with it. So I've been constantly reminding myself is to thank Allah SWT for everything that I have, or am good at, however small that thing may be. I know this sounds pretty obvious, but sometimes the small things are harder to be thankful for because they happen almost subconsciously. So I've been trying to pay much closer attention to those little things. Subhanallah, whenever I say alhamdulilah, not only does it remind me of my blessings, but they seem so much more powerful. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but say I help a friend land a job. I feel happy that they got hired, and accomplished (to an extent) because I'm the one that helped them get there. But as soon as I remember to say alhamdulilah, I am automatically humbled and feel an even greater sense of happiness and accomplishment because I was privileged enough (through Him) to help someone out. 

Just the word alhamdulilah reminds me of my reliance on a greater power. And every time I say that word, I feel my ego getting smaller, and what a great feeling that is. La 7owla wala kuwatta ila billah. 

Starve your ego, feed your soul, and see just how far you go. Let your actions speak, and the more humble you are, the more powerful those actions become.


A Muslimah

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's Crunch Time

I can't believe I haven't written a post in so long! School is getting really hectic and I have my last midterm tomorrow inshallah, and then I gotta start studying for finals :( Inshallah I will update my blog soon but until then, here is a beautiful quote I just came across:
Having imaan is like riding a plane. The higher you go, the smaller the things on Earth appear.
It gives me some comfort in the midst of this hectic world. No matter how bad it gets here, the way we handle is crucial so it reminds me to prioritize, and gives me hope for better days (for all of us) inshallah!

A Muslimah

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I seek forgiveness from Allah SWT for the lack of my sincerity when I say I seek the forgiveness of Allah SWT.
Just read this on twitter and I had to re-post it here, because sometimes I do lack sincerity when I seek His forgiveness. Astaghfurullah. At least I am aware of it?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Al-Hayat Al-Dunya (The Life of This World)


Just added a new page: Quotations. Here are a few of them, to see the rest, click on the tab.

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.
No Matter what you do there will be critics
To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Hope for miracles, but don’t rely on one.
It is never too late to give up your prejudices. 
Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you but trusting them not to.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

"You call it freedom, I call it anarchy"

They say, "Oh, poor girl, you're so beautiful you know" It's a shame that you cover up your beauty so." She just smiles and graciously responds reassuringly, "This beauty that I have is just one simple part of me. This body that I have, no stranger has the right to see. These long clothes, this shawl I wear, ensure my modesty. Faith is more essential than fashion, wouldn't you agree?" This hijab, This mark of piety, Is an act of faith, a symbol, For all the world to see. A simple cloth, to protect her dignity. So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity. They tell her, "Girl, don't you know this is the West and you are free? You don't need to be oppressed, ashamed of your femininity." She just shakes her head and she speaks so assuredly, "See the bill-boards and the magazines that line the check-out isles,with their phony painted faces and their air-brushed smiles? Well their sheer clothes and low cut gowns they are really not for me. You call it freedom, I call it anarchy." This hijab, This mark of piety, Is an act of faith, a symbol, For all the world to see. A simple cloth, to protect her dignity. So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity. Lift the veil from your heart and seek the heart of purity. -Dawud Wharnsby Ali-
I just re-watched the Pink Hijab day video and payed attention to the song in the background. Intrigued, I googled a few of the words and the full lyrics came up (shown above). It's so short yet sooooo on point subhanallah. I absolutely loved it so I decided to post it.

Tanzil : Quran Navigator

This is my absolute favourite website for listening/understanding Qur'an. Check it out if you get a chance. It's very useful alhamdulilah =)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Are you lonesome tonight?

A beautiful poem I just read on Seekersguidance:

Are you lonesome tonight?
by Novid Shaid, 2003
Are you lonesome tonight?
Are you friendless tonight?
Is your world fractured apart?
Has your love turned and fled?
Has your loyal heart bled?
It’s not worth living, apart.
Shall I show you a friend?
Recommend you a friend?
Your woes, His love will consume
And His veil He will rend,
And His charms have no end,
His warmth will comfort your gloom.
Are you troubled tonight?
Agitated tonight?
Have dreams been shattered and strewn?
Has your health turned to dread?
Is your wealth torn into shreds?
And you sense your impending doom.
Will you welcome a friend?
Acquiesce to a friend?
Who’ll mend and replace your dreams,
And He’ll freshen your health,
And enliven your wealth,
His aid will thrill your esteem.
Are you shaking tonight?
Are you aching tonight?
Without a morsel or bed?
And the cold grips your skin,
And the hunger within,
No luck or hope lies ahead.
Can you search for a friend?
Can you feel for a friend?
Who dwells in no time or place,
And His nearness will sate,
And His grace compensate,
Your fare, beholding His face.
Well then, long with your heart,
And kindle in your heart,
The wish to witness His face,
And pledge to Him your love,
Then purge for Him your love,
Your cravings don’t leave a trace.
And convey peace tonight,
And then blessings tonight
Upon His dearest comrade,
And upon his close friends,
Family, companions,
Until there’s no night or day.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Why the hijab? Why now?


Everyone always asks me "Why the hijab? Why now?" and it's always the most difficult question for me to answer. It's difficult because I feel like they're all expecting some pivotal moment that changed my life...but I had a few of my heart. And it's hard to put these 'events' into words because they are so significant (and obviously life-altering) from my point of view, but when I try to explain them they make no sense. A few seemingly small events changed me in a big way. 

Still, people are often skeptical about my 'transformation'. And I get that, because outwardly it may seem like these transformations happened overnight, when in reality I feel like it was much more gradual. It's hard for people to understand this because from the outside looking in I went from tube tops and shorts to being covered from head to toe (literally) in a matter of weeks. But what fails to be obvious are the little changes that I've been making. And I don't feel the need nor the desire to justify my actions, nor convince people of them. 

As for why I actually decided to put on the hijab....

First of all, I've always believed in Islam, but I never took it upon myself to discover much more than what I already learned from my parents. Looking back, I can honestly say that I didn't pursue more knowledge because I wanted to stay 'blissfully ignorant'. Any time my parents would try 'advise' or 'guide' me, I would tune it out. I didn't want to know the consequences of my actions because
1. I didn't want to feel bad
2. If I felt bad I might change
3. I didn't want to change
4. I wanted to 'enjoy' my life now and worry about 'changing' later
......and then one day I read a quote
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the [Qur'an/Bible/Torah/etc.] a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals."
.....and then it "dawned on me" I was feeding that statement. This was exactly what I was doing! I was procrastinating in LIFE. But who's to say I'm even going to live another day. There's no guarantee that I'm even going to live long enough to "worry about changing later". So I realized I needed to make some sort of change NOW. I was sick being ignorant, and I wanted to ACTUALLY enjoy my life.

For the first time I feel like I have a purpose, and I have a real plan to follow. My heart actually feels full. It's hard to explain...but I guess it's just one of those things you have to go through yourself to really understand it. 

Subhanallah, looking back at the way I used to live (just a few months ago), I actually pity myself. If I try to compare my level of happiness before versus today, it's hard to understand how I thought I was happy. People are often hurt when I say that. I'm not saying I regret the people I have met, just some of the things that I did. If anything, ALL of my friends helped shape the person I am today, alhamdulilah (all praise is to God). 
I just really want to make something clear: I don't miss ANY of the things I used to do--only some of the people I did them with.

I'm pretty sure I still haven't answered the question "Why the hijab, why now?" but I think that's because it was 21 years in the making.


A Muslimah 

30 Days through Muslim America

This is so beautiful Masha'Allah!!!!

30 Days through Muslim America, a photo essay:

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Young, Muslim, Female...and Not a Stereotype

My friend Atifa just shared this article with me :
Young, Muslim, Female...and Not a&nbsp;Stereotype

This young lady stood up for her deen. Truly inspiring. We could all learn a thing or two from her.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Boonaa Mohammed - Signs

"What can my enemies do to me? My Paradise is in my heart; it goes with me wherever I am. If they kill me, it is my martyrdom. If they exile me from my land, it is a vacation in the path of Allah. If they imprison me, it is to allow me a private devotion with Allah"
- Ibn Taymiyyah
Thanks for sharing Asma <3 

And when it hurts, well, it hurts.

I'm sitting here in bed, upset that I'm not asleep because I have to wake up at 7 tomorrow....fantastic. But that's not the only thing I'm upset about, hurt would be more appropriate.

Subhanallah. Sometimes you can [try to] prepare yourself for a bad situation. For instance, you know that after Sunday comes Monday inshallah. I've had 21 years worth of Mondays--but for some reason I still hate those mornings. I never sleep enough on Sunday night, I am cranky, and I always wish we could rewind the last 48 hours. But logically speaking, shouldn't I be used to that by now?

Now I'm in a similar situation. The day my friend leaves for Saudi Arabia is here. I've had a few weeks to 'prepare' myself. I thought I was doing great...until right now. I'm a total wreck. I have a heavy feeling in my chest. It won't go away. My sighs are frequent. Praying helps, alhamdulilah. And I know that everything happens for a reason--I don't know all of His reasons but I know they're there. La hawla wala quwwata ila bi Allah [there is no power or strength except through Allâh SWT].

Unfortunately right now this situation still sucks. And inshallah this will all get easier, and with His help I will get through this (probably even quicker than I thought). A few weeks/months from now this situation may even seem silly. But right now, at this very moment, it still hurts.

And when it hurts, it will be okay IA.


A Muslimah

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Only God Can Judge Me.

I've been meaning to write an update for a few days now...but I wasn't really sure how to put my thoughts on paper. I still don't, but here's my attempt.

The beautiful and blessed month of Ramadan is sadly over. Eid has passed. And school is finally sinking in (and so are people's comments). Lately, I have been overhearing a lot of chatter. Some people think putting on a hijab was too big of a jump, some think I have gone a little extreme, some think I'm not doing a good enough job. Subhanallah. I honestly thought I was taking a step towards Allah SWT to get closer to Him, to please Him insha'Allah, nobody else. 

Of course this 'chatter' has opened my eyes to my own actions. Sometimes I find myself judging others silently in my heart. Astaghfurullah. Sometimes I make these silent claims to make myself feel better about myself. "At least I'm not that bad..." Astaghfurullah. I try not to let myself slip into these thoughts, but it happens. I am so ashamed. Why do I feel the need to compare myself to others anyways? The simple answer is I don't. None of us do.

My friend Mafaz once told me that a truly good Muslim sincerely believes in their heart that everyone else is a better Muslim than they are. Masha'Allah. One day I want to be THAT kind of Muslim insha'Allah. Another friend of mine, Shoaib, told me about a halaqa a Shaykh gave during the end of Ramadan on prayers. The Shaykh was talking about how people are often very quick to correct others' prayers. But in the time of the Rasoul SAW, people were too worried about their own prayers to have any time to look and observe someone else's. Masha'Allah.

I wish we could all be too worried about bettering ourselves than have any time to judge someone else.


A Muslimah

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Listen to the clues


I was listening to Ustadh Yahya Rhodus: Disciplining the Soul, Session 2 and his words really hit home with me. He said that if Allah SWT loves someone, anytime that person relies on something other than God, He will break that for them. This reliance could be on wealth, people, etc. and Allah SWT takes that away from them because He wants us to rely only on Him. And by   taking that 'thing' away He is 
              1. protecting us from relying on anything wordly
              2. giving us the opportunity to increase our reward
Subhanallah. After my last post, this lecture on Imam Gazali's work could not have come at a better time. It all makes sense now. Astaghfurullah. I was relying too much on this one person and by extension not relying enough on Him. 

Alhamdulilah. Thank You for this clue [the lecture].

A Muslimah 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Change is good...right?

I've officially been wearing the hijab for a week now and it feels great alhamdulilah :) I've just moved back into residence for my fourth and final year inshallah. We are getting ready for all first-year students to move in (tomorrow) and it's going to be a hectic but fun-filled week inshallah! There have been a few moments where people didn't recognize me but for the most part it doesn't feel like much has changed (since before I started wearing the hijab). The 'newness' is starting to wear off a little and I am okay with that. Aside from all the excitement of orientation week, it has been a rough few days for me.

I've just received news that a very close friend of mine wants to spend a year overseas for work. It may not seem like such a big thing but this friend has been my support system for a while and I've almost grown dependent on them. I keep convincing myself that change (although hard) is good. We should be in constant pursuit of improvement which often requires change. But this is different, or at least it feels that way. I guess I've always been up for change because alhamdulilah I have a good support system around me (including my family and friends) but when someone is taken out of that goes out of balance.  I no longer feel like I am strong enough to do all the things I aspire to because something is missing.

It's funny because everyone always comments on how 'confident' I am. I think I only have that confidence in myself thanks to those who have confidence in me. What I really need to work on is rebuilding my own strength, and being more self-sufficient inshallah.


A Muslimah