You are your own worst critic

....or so they say.

Bismillah.

I've always heard people say that you are your own worst critic. In fact, I've used that line myself on several occasions because it does hold true...to an extent. Lately I've realized that I can be at once toughest on myself and the least harsh. Sounds like a contradiction? Maybe.

The way I see it is that I am always hardest on myself when it comes to things like appearance and school, and by extension I am less harsh on others when it comes to those things. I think it's common sense, I'm not going to get all bent out of shape if my friend got a B instead of an A because it obviously doesn't affect me as much (that sounded harsher than I intended, I'm just trying to verbalize my thoughts). But then, when it comes to other things like faith or weakness of character, my lower self is so quick to 'judge' others, while being extremely lenient with myself. This is where I get uncomfortable writing about this stuff, because it's definitely a part of me I'm not proud of--but I am working REALLY hard to get rid of......

..... Here it comes, hypocrisy at its finest: I am sometimes unforgiving in my judgment of others while I am overly accepting of my own faults, often convincing myself of being 'good enough' so that I can fool myself into not having to do better, not having to be better. This is a weakness in my own character, and I don't think it's an easy one to fight.

Doesn't only sound like a contradiction anymore, it looks like one too.

Sincerely,
A Muslimah