Saturday, August 28, 2010

Change is good...right?

I've officially been wearing the hijab for a week now and it feels great alhamdulilah :) I've just moved back into residence for my fourth and final year inshallah. We are getting ready for all first-year students to move in (tomorrow) and it's going to be a hectic but fun-filled week inshallah! There have been a few moments where people didn't recognize me but for the most part it doesn't feel like much has changed (since before I started wearing the hijab). The 'newness' is starting to wear off a little and I am okay with that. Aside from all the excitement of orientation week, it has been a rough few days for me.


I've just received news that a very close friend of mine wants to spend a year overseas for work. It may not seem like such a big thing but this friend has been my support system for a while and I've almost grown dependent on them. I keep convincing myself that change (although hard) is good. We should be in constant pursuit of improvement which often requires change. But this is different, or at least it feels that way. I guess I've always been up for change because alhamdulilah I have a good support system around me (including my family and friends) but when someone is taken out of that system...it goes out of balance.  I no longer feel like I am strong enough to do all the things I aspire to because something is missing.


It's funny because everyone always comments on how 'confident' I am. I think I only have that confidence in myself thanks to those who have confidence in me. What I really need to work on is rebuilding my own strength, and being more self-sufficient inshallah.


Sincerely,


A Muslimah

Friday, August 20, 2010

Day 3: Keep your hopes high, your expectations low, and your minds open.

Never take someone for granted because they may surprise you.

It's funny how you go on life expecting things from certain people. For instance, no matter what, I expect my parents to love me. And if someone consistently lets me down, I assume they will continue to do so. And I assume that my friends will always be there. But it doesn't always work out that way now does it?
So instead of being hurt, let down, or judgemental, I am going to start making a conscious effort to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. It could be a test, or maybe it's an opportunity to turn to Allah for guidance or help, but there is a reason and we should try to take comfort in that. Have some faith.

Allah SWT has willed for those things to happen, and He has a reason.

So keep your hopes high,  your expectations low, and your minds open.

Sincerely,

A Muslimah

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Please allow me to re-introduce myself...

Today I started wearing the hijab.


Today was also the most emotional day of my life. I woke up this morning knowing that today was the day my life was going to change alhamdulilah. Subhan Allah I there was no doubt when I woke up, I knew exactly what I was going to wear: dark jeans, white lace top, long navy linen blazer,.....and my new edition: an off white hijab. Everything was going so smoothly. I got dressed, and headed for the door. Still feeling good. And then it hit me, my heart felt like it fell into the pit of my stomach, i got a quick shiver down my back, and I realized this was all going to happen, it was really going to happen. I was going to walk out into the big world with a hijab and I was terrified....for about 30 seconds until I remembered that I wasn't doing this alone. Allah was protecting me, just like he protects the millions of other women just like me. Subhan Allah.


Later on in the day I took another huge step: I updated my profile picture on facebook. This seemingly small act was probably even more liberating than walking out of my house with a hijab on--because I was really revealing myself to most of the people I know. It was a lot easier to walk out knowing that I probably won't see anyone I know, but it wasn't as easy to reveal the improved me to EVERYONE I know. Never would I have ever imagined that I would have this much support from people. Jazakullah khair to everyone who is helping me in my journey. A special thanks goes out to Fazza, Ruqruq, Zainab, Maryam, Globo, Atif (who actually gave me the idea of doing this in the first place), Asma, Hossam, ALL of Qurba, and most importantly my parents. I could not have done any of this without you and Allah SWT. 


Allah SWT has given me so many chances in my life and alhamdulilah I am finally taking this one and running with it. I could not have done anything without HIM and HIS support. 


May Allah protect us all all and lead us down the right path insha'Allah. 




To all girls/guys/men/women who are too afraid to take that next step please remember:



Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. [with Allah's support and protection anything is possible insha'Allah]

Sincerely,

A Muslimah

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Step by Step

It's Ramadan, such a blessed and inspiring month alhamdulilah. So many great resources out there this month mashallah. I feel like I am learning a little more each day. Attached is a beautiful video a friend of mine sent me: Taraweeh Truffles: PRAY On.

It is such a touching video since I myself am battling the hijab issue. Alhamdulilah I am completely convinced of course, I just don't know if I am ready yet. I know some people think that I should just do it and inshallah the rest will come from Allah SWT, but in all honesty I don't want to make such a big and beautiful commitment without being 100% certain of it. I feel like my knowledge of Islam is still very basic (the only knowledge I have is that which I have been brought up with from my parents but I never went in depth out of my own negligence, may Allah forgive me inshallah).

Anyways so I feel like I haven't put on the hijab yet for 2 reasons:

1. I want to be a good representation of a Muslim, and without a good understanding of our fundamentals I don't think I would be.

2. I'm just not ready yet. But I know in my gut that I will be ready soon inshallah (I just don't know how soon that is)

May Allah give us all an extra push in the right direction insha'Allah.

Sincerely,

a Muslimah

Saturday, August 14, 2010

And it begins.


Asalaam Walaikum Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu,

I am a proud Muslim who has just recently rediscovered her faith alhamdulilah. This is my journey.

I was at Jummah (Friday) Prayer today, and the khotbah was not surprisingly on Ramadan. The sheikh spoke about something I am not used to hearing during this blessed month. Everyone knows about how special and sacred this month is to all of us, and all of the rewards we will get inshallah if we fast and practice proper restraint throughout this month. And we also know that this is the one month that Allah (swt) protects us from Shaytan. But what the sheikh touched upon was the fact that this month is an opportunity for change, for gradual transformation.

All of our bad habits and attributes that are prevalent during Ramadan are from ourselves. We should use this month to break our bad habits, and aspire to leave them for good. This month is an opportunity for us to transform our lives (one step at a time inshallah). We should not rush into anything, we should take steps and aim for a gradual, consistent, and lasting change.

The sheikh said it beautifully "We are not expected to transform overnight, that would be unnatural. Gradualness is key. After all, the Qur'an was revealed to us over decades, not days." 

May Allah bless us all and help lead us on the right path Insha'Allah.

-A Muslimah