Everyone always asks me "Why the hijab? Why now?" and it's always the most difficult question for me to answer. It's difficult because I feel like they're all expecting some pivotal moment that changed my life...but I had a few of those...in my heart. And it's hard to put these 'events' into words because they are so significant (and obviously life-altering) from my point of view, but when I try to explain them they make no sense. A few seemingly small events changed me in a big way.
Still, people are often skeptical about my 'transformation'. And I get that, because outwardly it may seem like these transformations happened overnight, when in reality I feel like it was much more gradual. It's hard for people to understand this because from the outside looking in I went from tube tops and shorts to being covered from head to toe (literally) in a matter of weeks. But what fails to be obvious are the little changes that I've been making. And I don't feel the need nor the desire to justify my actions, nor convince people of them.
As for why I actually decided to put on the hijab....
First of all, I've always believed in Islam, but I never took it upon myself to discover much more than what I already learned from my parents. Looking back, I can honestly say that I didn't pursue more knowledge because I wanted to stay 'blissfully ignorant'. Any time my parents would try 'advise' or 'guide' me, I would tune it out. I didn't want to know the consequences of my actions because
For the first time I feel like I have a purpose, and I have a real plan to follow. My heart actually feels full. It's hard to explain...but I guess it's just one of those things you have to go through yourself to really understand it.
Subhanallah, looking back at the way I used to live (just a few months ago), I actually pity myself. If I try to compare my level of happiness before versus today, it's hard to understand how I thought I was happy. People are often hurt when I say that. I'm not saying I regret the people I have met, just some of the things that I did. If anything, ALL of my friends helped shape the person I am today, alhamdulilah (all praise is to God).
I just really want to make something clear: I don't miss ANY of the things I used to do--only some of the people I did them with.
I'm pretty sure I still haven't answered the question "Why the hijab, why now?" but I think that's because it was 21 years in the making.
Sincerely,
A Muslimah
1. I didn't want to feel bad
2. If I felt bad I might change
3. I didn't want to change
4. I wanted to 'enjoy' my life now and worry about 'changing' later
......and then one day I read a quote
.....and then it "dawned on me" I was feeding that statement. This was exactly what I was doing! I was procrastinating in LIFE. But who's to say I'm even going to live another day. There's no guarantee that I'm even going to live long enough to "worry about changing later". So I realized I needed to make some sort of change NOW. I was sick being ignorant, and I wanted to ACTUALLY enjoy my life."I was thinking about how people seem to read the [Qur'an/Bible/Torah/etc.] a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals."
For the first time I feel like I have a purpose, and I have a real plan to follow. My heart actually feels full. It's hard to explain...but I guess it's just one of those things you have to go through yourself to really understand it.
Subhanallah, looking back at the way I used to live (just a few months ago), I actually pity myself. If I try to compare my level of happiness before versus today, it's hard to understand how I thought I was happy. People are often hurt when I say that. I'm not saying I regret the people I have met, just some of the things that I did. If anything, ALL of my friends helped shape the person I am today, alhamdulilah (all praise is to God).
I just really want to make something clear: I don't miss ANY of the things I used to do--only some of the people I did them with.
I'm pretty sure I still haven't answered the question "Why the hijab, why now?" but I think that's because it was 21 years in the making.
Sincerely,
A Muslimah
"In youth we learn, in age we understand", I am sure the reasoning of your actions will soon enough become apparent. But until they do, the only person who really need to convince is YOU.
ReplyDeletePs. I think it so cool you have a blog.
Thanks Sohail =D
ReplyDeleteBut I do know why I put on the hijab, it is very clear to me, I just don't know how to communicate it!
this is suchh a powerful blog mashallah! wish you all the best sister :)
ReplyDeleteJazakallah khair Faiza!
ReplyDeleteBRO - LOVE THIS
ReplyDeleteI loved this so much, and learned alot from it. You answered it beautifully, and I applaud you for answering the questions instead of turning on the questioner. So many of us can learn so much from the kind of understanding you're displaying towards those who aren't so quick to do the same. It's prophetic :)
ReplyDelete<3 ruqayyah
Jazakallah khair habooba <3
ReplyDeleteA lot of it stems from the people around me and those I look up to (including YOU). Alhamdulilah.
I went through the same thing about 2 years ago. I understand exactly what you're talking about, and alhamdulilah I'm so happy for you. It's amazing looking back at the person you were and the person you are now, isn't it? SubhanAllah, Allah guides us back to Islam in different ways. Going from being a non-practicing muslimah to a practicing muslimah IS like a transformation. Putting on that mere piece of material to cover your hair was SO DIFFICULT! Why? Because everyone around you is used to you a certain way, acting a certain way, being a certain person. After that everything changes, and you even want to change the company around you to company who understands, who will encourage you on the sirataal mustakeem. I have lost contact with many of my old friends because of this. I'm not sure if you're going through the same thing, but may Allah make this transition easy for you and give you the best in this world and in the akhirah. Wasalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
ReplyDeleteSubhanallah your message almost sounds like it's a message to myself! I know EXACTLY what you mean! We all live different lives and go through different journeys and but to some extent we can find a point where we can relate to one another. Alhamdulilah I am so happy to hear that you are stronger now. Everything happens for a reason and alhamdulilah Allah SWT is always there for support. May he continue you to guide you down the right path and open his doors to Jannah for you and all the believers insha'Allah.
ReplyDeleteWsalaams <3
Why do Eastern women care so much about the head scarf? I appreciate your change, but I think you didn't begin with the right move. Veil is part of Islam, but before it come more important things like creed and manners (akhlaq). So, why don't you discuss those first? Is it social conditioning and peer pressure?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I noticed that very few hijabis care about observing the Islamic law which explicitly bans plucking the eye brows. I always wanted to know why, but if I asked them face-to-face, they wouldn't appreciate the question. So I'm using internet anonymity to raise a point which I hope you address.
Thank you very much for your comments :) I really appreciate your honesty!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I cannot speak on behalf of what you call 'eastern' women because I am only one person. However what I can say is that the concept of the hijab is not just a part of Islam but integral to its understanding (in my opinion). It is about modesty and protection, it is a part of the foundations of Islam and therefore is much more than a piece of cloth to cover oneself. It includes creed and manners, it is adapting a way of life, not just a way of dress. It instills in me a sense of confidence and independence. I will no longer allow myself to be objectified by men, alhamdulilah!
I find it a little naive and offensive however for you to assume that I didn't begin with the right step. I don't feel the need to justify my decisions to anyone but Allah SWT, but for the sake of your comment, as I mentioned in my post, I actually went through a HUGE transformation prior to putting on the hijab. Unfortunately my outwardly appearances are what people can point out the quickest (because you don't have to know me before you make an assumption right?).
As for the plucking eyebrows, I am actually going through this particular point in my life right now! I've tried to research it and so far it is clear that thinning the eyebrows is forbidden, and so is shaping them because you are changing the creation of Allah SWT. However unfortunately I cannot tell you why so many of us do it! I am so sorry not to be able to answer that for you :(
I hope that helps! And once again, I really do appreciate you being so honest about your feelings because I am sure there are so many others that were wondering the same things!
I know I may be late in commenting but I just stumbled onto your blog (which by the way is quite neat) and I find this post to parallel my life experience to a tee. I just put on my Hijab in May of this year and it completely changed my life. I too cant put to words why I decided but in my heart it totally makes sense to me. Inshallah, I continue on this path of being a strong muslimah by the grace of Allah SWT. Jazakallah khair for the post and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteBismillah,
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear that you have put on the hijab! Alhamdulilah! May Allah SWT continue to guide you, and may He bless you in this dunya and in the akhira. Ameen.
about the eyebrows: There is a difference of opinion among scholars regarding whether one is permitted in Islam to shape or trim one’s eyebrows.
ReplyDeleteAccording to a group of scholars, shaping one’s eye-brows is considered as forbidden, and they cite the following statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “Allah has cursed women who tattoo their bodies, wear false hair, those who pluck their eye-brows, and those who artificially widen gaps between their teeth.” They say: shaping eyebrows or trimming them falls under the same rule.
As opposed to the above, other scholars consider shaping eyebrows or trimming them to be permissible. They say: the prohibition in the above hadith is specifically refers to plucking eye-brows, and it is prohibited because it is akin to mutilation, and also it is more likely to result in defaming one’s face. As opposed to this, shaping eyebrows-- if they are excessively lengthy or thinning them if they are excessively thick-- is enhancing Allah’s creation, rather than mutilating it. Its analogy, therefore, is to trimming of moustache or cutting of hair, etc., which are not only permissible but may also be recommended.
In light of the above, according to these scholars, it is considered permissible to shape or trim one’s eye brows if they are excessively lengthy or thick for the purpose of appearing neat and tidy
http://askthescholar.com/AskTheScholar2.aspx?q=878
InshAllah this will help:)